Touching Exchanges

     Today Hope and David were here from after school through dinner.  As Hope sat down to eat, she wondered aloud to David, "I wonder where she sits when we aren't here."  I told her that I sit right where she was at the moment.  Then she asked me, "What do you think about?"  Before I could answer, she went on.  "I know what you think about.  You think about Grandpa."  I assured her that yes, I do think about him a lot while I'm eating.  I told her I also think about her, about her brothers, and her mom.
     About 30 minutes later, Mom arrived from work to take the kids home.  As Hope was putting on her shoes, she asked me, "What happens here?"  For a moment I was stumped.  I asked if she were wondering what I do in the evening after supper.  When she responded that that was her question, I told her I would clean up the kitchen, maybe read, maybe watch TV or write an email.  Then I asked her the same question:  What happens at your house when you get home?  "Oh, watch TV, take baths, do homework, get ready for bed."
     What touched me about these exchanges was Hope's sensitivity to me, her concern for me.  At six years old, she seems to have a capacity for reflection and caring that I hope will only continue to grow as she does.

Hesitant Start

     It wasn't rational, and I knew it.  Yet, as the new year approached, I felt reluctant to let the old one go.  Leaving 2017 felt somehow like leaving Bob behind--I was walking into a year Bob would never see, never be part of.  It hasn't taken long for me to realize that although Bob won't see 2018, he is very much a part of it because he is such a part of me.  The poet W. S. Merwin wrote: 
                               
                                 Your absence has gone through me
                                 like thread through a needle.
                                 Everything I do
                                 is stitched with its color.

I am discovering that even in his absence, Bob's love is a rich presence.  It is stitched into so many memories, so many perspectives, even into many ordinary moments and remembered "private jokes." We have moved into this new year together, and I couldn't be more relieved nor more grateful.