November-ing

     Tomorrow is the first of November.  In my mind and heart, November is about Bob.  His birthday is the 16th.  As the air turns colder every year, as the leaves turn golden along with the sunlight, I am always instinctively aware that Bob's birthday is coming.  Yes, November is also about Thanksgiving and family gatherings and maybe even first ski or snowshoe outings (first snow-shoveling, too, perhaps.)  But Bob has always been at the heart of those events, too.  So November, for me, is about Bob.  

    This year, November adds new heart-connections for me with Bob.  The local culture is very immersed in celebrating Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead.  Its rituals are even more elaborate and graphic than any All Souls' Day commemorations in the Catholic church.  Reminders of the event will be conspicuous around town for the next several days. I haven't come to terms with how I feel about all the skull and skeletal images used, but there is no denying that this year there is a profound link between me and Bob and this tradition.

    That link will be made again at a memorial celebration being held Sunday, November 5.  It is hosted by the hospice agency that cared for Bob and is for families of those who have died in this past year.  I hope to be able to reconnect with some of those aides, nurses, and therapists who were such gifts to Bob and to me in his final months.  I expect the service and the sharing after will elicit tears, but I have come to know deeply in these past months how healing tears can be. 

    I open my heart to the entrance of November 2017, knowing it will stir poignant memories and feelings.  At the same time, I trust that because, for me, it's all about Bob, it will be a month when his love--our love--gifts me with unexpected grace and deepened peace.