You Never Know

     Last weekend Bob and I managed to do a bit of shopping at Walmart.  He "drove" the shopping cart (meaning he had his hands on the handle bar) and I steered him through the store by holding onto the front corner of the cart.  Off and on, we came upon three women shopping together who looked like they were probably sisters.  One was wearing a T-shirt from Oklahoma State.  As Bob and I exited hand-in-hand into the parking lot, I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a woman say, "Your love inspires me."  I turned to see one of those three sisters smiling at me.  What a sweet and encouraging gesture she offered.

     This past week, I posted in our "neighborhood watch" group some pictures of Bob, a note about my growing concern that he might sometime wander and seem lost, and information about how to get him back home as well as how to reach me.  Two days later I had this email from a neighbor I do not know but who is an under sheriff in Taos county:  

 "I am writing to let you know that Sheriff Hogrefe has disseminated your, “Heads Up” to the entire Sheriff’s Office and I want to assure you, on behalf of Sheriff Hogrefe and the entire Taos County Sheriff’s Office, that we will be vigilant and rest assured that if we encounter your husband, we will return him home safely. If you ever are in need of assistance, please feel free to contact us at any time."

     Another response to my post was a voicemail message from a neighbor letting me know that he has "walked the path (I am) now on," and letting me know I could call to talk any time.  These simple gestures from 3 different strangers really touched me.  It's comforting and reassuring to know that there are still many people "out there" whose hearts are kind and inclined to helping others.

     We experienced that same kindness and generosity the week before when finishing up at a restaurant just outside of Santa Fe.  Bob needed to use the restroom (which has become an anxiety-producing event for me when we are out since he needs a lot of help doing that now.)  I told him I would take him into the women's room, but was uncomfortable going into the men's room since I didn't know whether anyone was already in there.  Bob was not willing to go to the women's room, so reluctantly, I watched him enter the men's room alone.  I stood waiting nearby, at the end of the completely unoccupied bar. Soon it occurred to me to ask the also unoccupied bartender whether he might check the men's room for me, and explained that I would like to go in and help Bob and why.  Without hesitation he said, with a bit of a Spanish accent, "I go check.  And then I wait outside and keep anyone out."  Relieved, I went in, helped Bob, and returned with him to the dining area.  Sure enough, a rather puzzled-looking gentleman was standing at the end of the bar watching us exit, while the helpful bartender was standing just beyond him offering us a kind smile and gentle wave. It was truly heart-warming to be the recipients of such simple willingness to help.

     This last incident of needing a restroom that Bob and I could use together, on top of numerous other similar situations when we are out and about, has drawn my attention to the need for "family restrooms" in every public place.  These are certainly few and far between here in Taos, and I suspect that would be true all over.  It has also prompted me to make a sign which I carry in my purse to put on a women's restroom door.  It reads:  "My husband has Alzheimer's and needs assistance using the restroom.  We are both inside at this time.  If this makes you uncomfortable, please wait outside. Thank you."  I haven't used it yet, but at least I am prepared.