Questions with No Answers

     How did this happen?  How could it be that Bob walked into the nursing center with me last Monday, and now needs the assistance of 2-3 people to get in and out of bed or the wheelchair, or to use the bathroom?  His hospice nurse said to me a few days ago that she was so sorry, that had she realized this would happen she never would have recommended I take advantage of the 5-day respite. I could only tell her what I keep telling myself:  We can't second-guess ourselves.  All of this could have been on the verge of happening and may have occurred when he and I were home alone.  And I believe that.  Still, I can't help wondering did this hasten his losses (which are inevitable in this disease) or did his placement on Monday save us from having some sort of "catastrophe" happen at home?  We can't know the answer, and in a way, it doesn't really seem to matter now.  What does matter now is that he needs me more today than at any time in our almost-31-years of marriage, and that the loving bond we have is strong enough to hold us both through whatever lies ahead.